Hello everyone! This Holiday season has been quite interesting before even celebrating. I’ve been so busy that the blog I was slowly working on will have to wait. Instead I’d like to send out best wishes – along with my usual commentary of course!
Since my sluggish return from catching COVID, I’ve been lacking motivation and energy. Thankfully I entered a ‘high’ part of my cycle which resulted in a gift prep. frenzy. I like making most of my gifts from hand and I embarked on a little too much. (What a surprise!)
Things are a little rough… they could absolutely be worse, but let’s just say that certain circumstances made this holiday strange. On multiple occasions I asked myself why I was bothering to put so much effort into the festivities. To be honest, I’d been stressing so much that the ‘Christmas spirit’ largely eluded me.
Every holiday I have a theme, whether it be the materials used or a particular topic. I selected something I’d been trying out a few months ago: epoxy resin. The results can be absolutely gorgeous but the process is stinky, messy, time-consuming and requires a tonne of precision. Add to this the fact that I had 3 Christmas celebrations to prepare for and EEK! But I don’t want to get carried away in that direction. Here’s what I’ve been learning this holiday season.
With some thought though, I think I’ve found out why I put so much effort in. And as this tumultuous year comes to a close, I have a message for us.
Life seems to be largely a matter of choice. Either we focus more on the positive, or the negative. I’m not even sure it’s a conscious choice, but somewhere down the line, we’ve formed a lens. One becomes more important. I won’t go into further detail right now but suffice to say that it’s us who construct the meaning in our lives. That can include if and how we choose to celebrate holidays and special events. So, I chose to make Christmas matter. I chose to invest my time into ridiculously involved hand-made gifts.
And you know what? I wouldn’t go back to do it differently. I’m grateful to say that I had a lovely Christmas Eve at my fiance mother’s place followed by a wonderful Christmas day with my parents. I write this now on Boxing day during my lunch break at work.
So before 2023 begins, I’d like to give 2022 a proper send off. I want to acknowledge the good that came interwoven in quite a bit of f*ckery. True, I didn’t make it a full year without a psych ward staycation. I didn’t make it a year without self-harm, and worst of all, I didn’t even make it without a suicide attempt. However…
It’s that ‘however’ that gives me hope. If there wasn’t, life wouldn’t be worth living. I wouldn’t think that getting better is possible.
So I’m here to celebrate the good and encourage comments on what we’re happy about this year. I’m sending this blog out within the last two hours of this year and I want to share what I’m grateful for. I want to remember that a lot of progress happened and that 2023 can be just as progressive!
I quit smoking! I didn’t think I’d be ready considering my stress levels, but here I am, almost 6 weeks smoke and vape free.
I’ve met some wonderful people at work, at school, and other random places that reinforced my hope in humanity.
I picked up rollerblading which I very much enjoy.
I discovered a fiery passion for racing which has opened a new door in my life and brings me so much purpose.
Muffin and I have been growing even closer as partners.
Despite some considerable setbacks this year, I think I’ve still made progress in terms of independence and responsibility. I’m also stepping out of my comfort zone.
I had another year in this great blogging community.
I completed two Cegep courses.
I won the Force Avenir award for community involvement while in school.
What do you guys want out of the new year? I’m hoping to gain greater control over myself and my emotions. That doesn’t mean denying or suppressing them, but rather choosing how I react to them. I also want to give Karting a real chance and finish my chemistry course with good grades. I’ll continue meditating and not return to smoking. I have a lot of other goals but I want to keep things simple. (Especially since I’m tired.)
Long story short… HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! I hope you begin a new year that fills you with live, joy and fulfilment!
