Hi guys! I haven’t been writing that much which I feel really bad about. I really WANT to, things are just very busy for me and it’s difficult to get everything done.
So…my boyfriend hurt his back the other day which really sucks! It was also his birthday yesterday so that’s pretty crappy timing. I think he had a good time anyway though, which I’m super grateful for! We made ‘starlite’, a material that disperses heat so well that you can put the putty on your hand and then hold a lighter over it without feeling anything. The experiment worked which was really cool. (This isn’t a recommendation to play with fire!) Speaking of Aaron, we’ve been having a bit of trouble together which has been hurting us both. There are also some big changes in store which we’re going to have to work on.
Work is still very busy…I’m kind of filling in for 2 people at the moment but I’m not complaining. The schedule is working well for me and I love my job! I just have to put everything else out of my mind during my shift so as to concentrate on one thing at a time. (A very important thing for EVERYONE!)
ADHD + My Psychiatrist
I saw my psychiatrist in person and gave him the ADHD evaluation forms he requested. It was probably the most productive meeting we’ve had to date and he admitted to not having thought that I had so many symptoms of ADHD. All that after a couple of months of trying to get him to reevaluate me…at least we’re finally on the same page! The Vyvanse is also a total game changer for me…it’s not just impacting my focus, productivity and concentration. It’s also improving my energy, mood and confidence. I’ve been gaining something I haven’t seen since…I don’t even know…maybe never, and that’s a sense of being me, being more present, and the intrusive thoughts being a lot quieter and easier to tune out. I’m immensely grateful!
Companion Paws Canada
Companion Paws Canada contacted me about the assessment for Mia becoming a visiting therapy dog…unfortunately because of the variant the assessment has been postponed but they’re offering a start on the course in the meantime. It’s almost $300 though and I don’t know how I’m going to afford that right now. I ordered myself an affordable pair of roller blades on Amazon which I’m super excited about but had I known this email was going to come, I would’ve held off. If you’re wondering why I ordered them in the middle of a cold and snowy Quebec winter, you’re not the only one. Still, I’m convinced that I’ll be able to get a hang of balancing and stuff indoors, even if it means in the kitchen or something.
Bell Let’s Talk
John Abbott College contacted me about being a part of Bell Let’s Talk again. Well, it started with them asking if I minded them using my video again from last year but making a new one especially coming from another year of experience is something I just HAVE to do. It means so much to me! I’ve gotten started with the speech but haven’t recorded anything … creating the video is the longest part and I have less than 10 days to complete this project. I’m worried because these days have been taking me in all sorts of directions but I have to make the time for it. I also haven’t started my online classes by the way, which is also stressing me out. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH TIME!!!
I made a mistake the other day that I regret and I want to share it because well…we’re human and I guess it’s a good example of accepting that you’ve messed up and then doing your part to fix it.
I was coming in to a morning shift at work with very high energy. I was almost late because we have to punch in at 8:50 in order to have time for the opening procedure. It dawned on me that with the reshuffled scheduling it was possible I’d be alone for the first hour. I was pumped and prepared for craziness! I was the energizer bunny rushing around while Mia sauntered up to the mezzanine to watch me like the boss she believes herself to be. (It’s adorable, she sits in my boss’s chair. It’s a routine now!)
As it happened, I wasn’t alone though… one of my coworkers arrived and we went about our individual tasks while serving clients. Things were going super well and I felt productive and happy. I was putting all of that ADHD-whatever energy into something targeted and useful. Well, my cup was just a little TOO full of that energy. The store got fairly quiet and I was moving far quicker than the day, if that makes sense.
Then I was at the cash and heard my coworker speaking with an anglophone. The client was asking questions and I had the urge to jump in there and help out. Being more comfortable in English myself, I thought it would be excellent practice with dog food advice and information. I’m learning more and more, I thought I could help and I didn’t think of anything else. That’s the problem. I basically asked my coworker if I could take over and help…I asked twice actually thinking she couldn’t hear me the first time. I don’t remember how I asked exactly but I remember it was pretty insistent. She left me with the client but I could tell that I’d made a mistake and it was too late to go back. I did give advice and it went well, but as soon as I had the opportunity I apologized to my coworker. She wasn’t happy and rightly so. I had interrupted, it made her look bad and by extension it could make the store look bad too. I felt very guilty because none of those things were my intention…I was rude and insulting without meaning to all because my mind rushed into things super quickly and I didn’t think before I spoke. Come to think of it apparently I did that a lot as a kid. Hmm. A pattern? Being anxious kept me from talking too much but maybe my gradually growing confidence is bringing the hurry sickness back.
I told my parents about what happened…I was wondering what had gotten into me. They think it’s ADHD related which makes sense though the thought hadn’t occurred to me. Anyway, I apologized multiple times and my cowerer was fine…in fact she didn’t want me to feel too bad about it. I still assured her it wouldn’t happen again and it won’t.
My Suicide Prevention Initiative
I’m bringing back the Suicide Prevention Initiative that I began last September. It never stopped actually but I want to post about it again. I’m grateful to say that I have a partner helping me with it by sharing posts with his own visitors. Jason Kehl contacted me a short while ago about adding my blog to the mental health resources on his own current and upcoming site! You should check it out, I have a lot of respect for him and what he does!
Visit ‘Rocking Mental Health‘