Security or adventure…that’s a dilemma. Are they mutually exclusive? I hope not! I just came across this writing prompt and thought I’d do a quick free-write since it touches a key theme in my life right now.
In the past, I would’ve chosen adventure. No doubt. In fact, I’m still tempted to choose adventure over security; it’s in my nature to be an adrenaline-junkie, thrill-seeking person. (Often to an unhealthy and extreme degree, but I’m working on that.)
The new me has lowered her expectations! That’s because I’m really tired of being yanked up and down and all around with my mental health struggles. I’m tired of being in crisis centres and hospitals. I’m tired of how long it takes to build up a bit of strength after I’ve fallen to pieces for the 100th time.
The New Me
I’m rebuilding my life which involves foundational changes that can’t happen in the context of adventure. At least not the kind of adventure that equals risk and unpredictability. Maybe it’s boring but my biggest goal right now is stability; practically a synonym of security. I need to establish balance and consistency before I can allow myself to be adventurous.
I think or at least sincerely hope that I can get back to a life of adventure. But right now recovery and basic daily realities are about as much adventure as I can take! I’m also starting to believe that to be truly adventurous – rather than simply reckless – one has to start from a place of security.
In other words it’s not a ”goodbye”, it’s an ”until we meet again”.
What do YOU think? Does your mental health situation affect your choice?