Perseverance and Completion with Mental Illness: Part 1

I’m very happy to share an article with you on perseverance and completion with mental illness. Why am I so happy? Because I have the perfect example from my recent life to base it off of. I don’t know how to get more real than that!

On the other hand, I wrote this blog over the course of a few weeks which was enough time for my mood to swing around and plummet again. My own rollercoaster is a great example of what I’m writing about today.

Motivation and Consistency – Mental Illness

Learning how to maintain motivation and persevere until completion is important for everyone, and can be difficult for anybody. However, I find it especially important for people struggling with their mental health. I’d like us to look at why these essentials for productivity and success can be extra challenging.

NOTE: I haven’t included every mental illness, not because they don’t pose an extra challenge, but because I prefer to write about what I’ve experienced and understand. If you have experience with any mental illness and would like to share how it makes motivation difficult, I would really appreciate your input in the comments!

Depression:

Depression is like the nemesis of motivation; it obliterates so many of the essential components required for successful completion. Simply beginning something can take a Herculean effort, and battling a profound sense of futility and personal inadequacy can make it immensely difficult to follow through with anything.

Anxiety:

In my experience, anxiety can be truly odd and contradictory. You can have tremendous motivation to achieve something and yet find it almost impossible to do so. Anxiety is awful, but fear can be a powerfully motivating force. (Some might say the most powerful.) This intense pressure can make us push as hard as we can to succeed, but anxiety can also reach the point of paralysis. When that happens, motivation takes a back seat and it might be less scary to not try at all.

Borderline Personality Disorder:

I still believe I’m misdiagnosed, but since I exhibit traits I want to include Borderline Personality Disorder in this list. The excruciatingly high level of sensitivity, self-criticism and perceived rejection can have a similar effect as that of anxiety. It can result in incredibly low motivation to attempt anything that could end poorly. Conversely, something can be started impulsively but end prior to completion if the slightest thing goes wrong.

Bipolar:

I’m not officially diagnosed by my psychiatrist (who insists on BPD), but I passed the test with flying colours (Yippee!) with my psychologist. I’m also on Bipolar medication which is like – ok – makes sense. My point is that I’ve grasped the swings enough to realize the devastating power of this illness: Motivation and perseverance can be at a whopping 200%, allowing you to embark on whatever random thing strikes your fancy. Everything is possible and you’re unstoppable! But wait – that high level of energy comes at a hefty price, and carries a timer you don’t get to see. When that timer runs out – BAM! You might not even recognize the ultra-productive and motivated person you were just a short while ago. You might want to say goodbye to whatever projects or tasks were in the works, because welcome to the chasm of depression.

ADHD (Perhaps ADD too)

Out of the illnesses I’ve mentioned, ADHD is perhaps the trickiest in our context of motivation and completion. Why? Because of its inherently unpredictable variations that remind me of Bipolar. The contradictions are endless and being largely self-aware throughout the process is unfair, to put it mildly. In my experience, ADHD can really leave you questioning: Am I lazy? Am I slow? Am I ridiculously hard-working and focused? Am I bored and disinterested, or do I want to know and understand EVERYTHING?

I can only give you a personal answer, which is… ALL OF THE ABOVE! And therein lies the problem. In my experience, motivation and productivity are often ‘randomly selected’. What do I mean? Let’s put it this way; I’ve divided the phenomena into two subsections: ‘Misdirected Focus’ and ‘Random Focus’.

Misdirected Focus:

I might have something really important and time-sensitive to accomplish. Despite this, I often come up with a new project or task and pour all of my attention into it. Sometimes the new project is a creative adjunct to the original task, and I become more interested in the tangent. I invest all my time and energy and then wonder why I’m still anxious.

Random Focus:

It often feels like I don’t choose when I’m productive, motivated, etc. I’ll experience hyper-focus with something random, like learning about every type of watch and how they function. (True story.) Then when something critical comes along, my brain can quit the job without giving me two weeks’ notice. This is highly impractical!

Important Caveat

I didn’t make this list to discourage anyone or to suggest that it’s impossible to succeed with mental illness; what I mean is that it often requires extra effort. Recognizing this early on is important because recognition leads to understanding, and understanding leads to greater self-awareness. The result? Cancelling the pity party and figuring out the keyboard shortcuts to your own success. I’ve learned that no one will hand them over – it’s up to each of us, as individuals. We’re all human but we’re all a little different; what I find difficult about the illnesses above might be completely different for you.

If I look back objectively beyond my ‘screw-ups’, there are also accomplishments; successes that I should be proud of. I used to see them as being in spite of my mental health struggles. (Sometimes I still do.) Later however, I began to think that certain successes were actually a result of these issues.

It’s amazing how our perception can change, even over a short period of time. My current view is that both my successes and ‘failures’ are due to, in spite of and unrelated to, my mental health / lack thereof. I’d better explain before I forget it myself!

I often need to work extra hard to achieve things because the symptoms of mental illness get in the way. It’s a steep, uphill battle where sometimes I succeed, and other times I don’t. I’ve also gotten involved in things that I wouldn’t have if not for my experiences with mental illness, and what I’ve learned as a result. There too, I’ve had successes and failures. Lastly, and this is a novel idea for me, my success, ‘failure’ or mediocrity, might have nothing to do with my struggles. I’ll let that sink in, for both of us.

What I’m hoping to share is that life is difficult. It’s strange and filled with unknowns, no matter how hard we try to explain it. We all have our challenges and we’re all fighting on different fronts. Whatever we’re going through can be part of the process in handling the next challenge or obstacle. I think my overall message might be positive right now, which feels strange because I’ve been trying to cope with a fair bit lately and it hasn’t been easy.

My Example of Perseverance and Completion

After all of this setup, we can get to my example of persevering to the end of a huge goal I had. The funny thing is that despite my happiness and gratitude for the success, I’ve had difficulty savouring the ‘win’, so to speak. (That might be part of my problem by the way.)

The Context: AKA: Amazing News

Remember the Service/Assistance Dog petition I’ve been working for months? Of course you do… any of my regulars can attest that I haven’t shut up about it! (Sorry not sorry, wink.)

Short synopsis if you’re new:

Mia is my Service Dog for metal illness and she happens to be a Yorkshire Terrier. Despite being fully trained and certified, many people question her credibility. Combine her tiny size with the fact that I don’t appear disabled, and voila: We’re overly questioned, frequently asked to leave and have even been refused service entirely. When I discovered that we’re not alone, I started a petition in the House of Commons. I want management and employees to be better educated about customers with working dogs of any breed and for any illness.

The Results:

I’m exceptionally happy to tell you that not only did we obtain the minimum 500 signatures for the requested changes to be voted on – the petition closed on February 21st with 869 signatures! That’s right – the petition will be presented to the House in Parliament!

All of my thanks and appreciation to those who helped make this possible: Everybody who signed the petition, spread the word, put me in contact with others and gave me an opportunity to speak about the issue. Thank you for believing that things should change, and thank you for believing in me. We couldn’t have done it without you!

The Power of Perseverance to Completion:

It’s very important to note that while the signature aspect of the petition turned out to be a big success, it came very close to failure. So close that it’s still hard for me to believe that we attained enough signatures by the deadline.

As some of you may know, I spent time in crisis centres before the Holidays. Other than mentioning it to the staff and residents, with permission of course, I barely worked on the petition. This meant horrible stats for much of November and all of December. Then, between Christmas and New Year, we lost Piko. Piko is our family dog, and losing him was an unforeseeable blow to all of us. The petition continued to take a backseat until mid-January when I decided to follow through, despite the lack of hope and motivation. I found new motivation, and it worked: I had started the petition before we lost Piko, and I was going to finish it no matter how I felt.

After that key moment, the petition became my main purpose. I kind of buried myself in the project as a way to cope and sometimes the flow of it all left me feeling hopeful and excited. Other times, the mere idea of placing calls and drafting emails was simply exhausting.

I still kept at it, reaching out to new people and organizations that I never would’ve dreamed of pitching. (The CMHA, Bell Let’s Talk, MIRA, MSAR Service Dogs, Assista, etc.) As you can imagine, my fear of rejection reduced out of necessity! If you’re interested in that process, you can read more about it here.

I also called the only local English newspaper, MainStreet, and was delighted to discover that the Publisher/Editor isn’t just an animal lover but truly believes in the purpose of the petition. A huge thank you to Susan MacDonald who let me write an article for the January/February edition! Which you can read here on page 14.

A second shoutout to Lori, a writer for MainStreet (amongst others) as well as a business woman and volunteer. Lori read the article and volunteered her help in sharing the petition with her many contacts. She also wrote a follow-up post for MainStreet, which can be found here on page 5.

Another huge thank you to Susan H. N. in Manitoba, who spread the petition to her contacts and went so far as to print flyers and hand them out in her neighbourhood.

As I might have mentioned in a previous blog, this petition has given me the opportunity and privilege of encountering some truly wonderful people.

February: Right Under the Wire

The petition was set to close on February 21st and even though signatures were rising, things didn’t look very hopeful. Thankfully, another wonderful opportunity presented itself: A friend of mine suggested that I visit TVC Argenteuil to tell them about our difficulties and the petition designed to improve things. I was really nervous but went through with it. Not long after my call with the producer, Mia and I were scheduled to meet with a reporter and we had an outdoor interview.

TVC Argenteuil: Une pétition pour sensibiliser les commerçants aux chiens d’assistance

The interview came out on February 13th, leaving only 8 days to obtain signatures. The pressure was on, and to be honest, I was feeling really powerless and discouraged. 3 days before the closing date, I had somewhat mentally resigned myself to failure. I think I was trying to lessen the blow by preparing myself in advance, which goes back to some of the elements we touched on earlier.

This is NOT a good idea and since the last 3 days probably saved everything, thank goodness I realized this before it was too late! The change in attitude happened at night while listening to my ‘Motivation’ playlist. I was half-heartedly making a 3-day final countdown poster to share on social media. I didn’t really think it would change anything but it gave me something to do. Here’s the funny thing: I didn’t end up using the poster for others, yet it changed everything for me. I guess spending hours with Sharpies on the same message has a way of bringing that message home … to the CREATOR.

The Final Countdown

I wish I could explain exactly what went down in my head that night to inspire the next few days, but here’s what I’m thinking:

The poster literally said ‘The Final Countdown’, which must’ve slapped the resignation off my face and kicked my apathetic butt in gear. After finding Mia, discovering the partnership we could have together, doing a ton of research, applying to a legitimate organization, completing training, getting certified, facing ignorance and refusal despite that, doing a study on the awareness of non-MIRA Service Dogs, fighting for Mia’s rightful place on a plane (and winning), going through the steps to launch a petition and knocking on almost every door I could think of…we had come way too far to stop trying 3 days before the end! No way.

I still didn’t think we’d obtain the minimum of 500 signatures, but I wanted to see it through. If it wasn’t going to work, I wanted to know that I did my best until the last minute before closing.

Swallowing Fear

The last days are the ones that pushed me the furthest out of my comfort zone. I finally did what more than one person had recommended, which was to reach out to ‘big media’. Up until then I was sure of two things: I’d either be rejected or, I would make a fool of myself if I didn’t get rejected. But with only 3 days left and success hinging on high visibility, I was willing to take the risk. I called CJAD iHeart Radio and spoke with someone who told me to send an email immediately and to explain the tight deadline. Miraculously, I got a call one hour later to schedule a radio interview for the following day.

I woke up early the next morning and to my tremendous surprise, received a call from a producer of CTV News. I imagine word had spread from the radio request the previous day, which is incredibly lucky! Before I knew it, Mia and I were doing a virtual interview for that nights’ broadcast. (This was February 20th.)

You can find the broadcast here on CTV News.

Reaping the Rewards of Perseverance

As a result of the radio and television exposure, we gained more signatures in that 24 hour period than in the previous 120 days. A whopping 452! (That’s 8 signatures away from the minimum we needed.)

I wouldn’t dream of claiming that the petition succeeded last minute simply due to my renewed motivation and perseverance. No; it had a great deal to do with fortunate timing. I’m still baffled that CJAD and CTV News were willing and able to schedule interviews with such short notice and air them the same day.

What I will say however, is that if I hadn’t overcome my fears and tried in spite of the low probability of success, we definitely wouldn’t have made the deadline. So yes, luck is a factor of life: Lucky timing, fortunate circumstances, etc., but it’s not enough to leave our success up to ‘fate’ or ‘randomness’. We have a crucial role; we can open doors and seize opportunities as they come our way, or we can make a countdown poster to pass the time.

Thank you so much for reading! I can’t wait to be back with Part 2 of this blog where we’ll dive into greater detail on how to maintain motivation and perseverance.

A Shoutout to Mia